She came from outer space

Now that “Beatnick McTrentleman” has stabbed me in the back on the gondola with his commentary in the paper, maybe it’s time I came clean on my real reasons for wanting it. Then you’ll all understand why I am willing to do whatever it takes, including climbing into bed with Chris Peterson. It’s that important.

Several months ago I was in my office late one night, and I was looking at some of the Internet sites that Scott Brown told me to look at. He said they are places executives like me use to relax.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. I opened it, and as I looked up and down the personage that stood before me, I began to wonder if she could be real, or if she might be from another planet. She spoke to me in English, and although she didn’t write anything down, she called herself “Zorna.” She said she came from a strange place she called “Udda-da-Vyduc.”

As a person of strange spirituality, I felt a rush of emotion. What happened next, there in my office over the next hour and a half, was the most spiritually-satisfying experience of my life. It was not of this world. Taking a C note from my wallet – presumably only what was needed to refuel her spacecraft – she left.

Several weeks later, I wished to commune with her again, and I tried to contact her with the usual methods: I put aluminum foil on my head and connected wires to my fillings. But her message to me came in another form.

It started with a strange oozing – one that burned like the exhaust from her space ship – followed by tiny red and white spots all over my body – here’s the amazing part – that in places spelled the letters Z, L and G.

Talk about advanced communication. What do you know that starts with these letters? That’s right: Zorna, Lift Ogden and gondola. And if you think about it, the gondola route will form a giant Z, signaling for Zorna to return from the sky.

When I first told Curt about my visitor, he said he too had received a visitation from this strange and wonderful being. Neither Chris nor Bob have communed with her yet, but if you look closely at the artwork in their homes you will find much of it now incorporates the shape of the astral pyramid, a well-known calling signal for extraterrestrials. As we all wait, what else can we do, but hold to the vision?

Zorna, does this blog reach planet Udda? Can you beam me up? The giant Z will soon be visible.